September 27, 2017

Hi Earthlings.

We thought we made the instructions pretty clear. Zorpads stick in any shoe, any time. In fact, there's a cute little step-by-step guide on the back of the pouch. 

Nonetheless, we've got some clever characters putting Zorpads in all sorts of places. And from what we hear, they are beaming odor everywhere to another dimension. Here's a little of what we've heard.

1. Trash Cans

That little lid that flips up? The one that makes you dry heave? Yeah that one. Turns out people have been sticking Zorpads to the lid and are astounded with the results (Tay's mom in particular). We're just happy we're saving people from vomit sneak attacks.

2. Diaper Pails

These things actually make sausages out of human feces. Gross. Pop a Zorpad or two in the lid and blast that baby odor into oblivion.

3. Hockey Gloves

If you've ever been to a hockey game, you know you can smell the players all the way home from the rink. Gross. Tuck some Zorpads in those gloves and keep your Mom's car from smelling like a garbage dump when she drives you home from hockey practice. It's the least you could do.

4. Shin Guards

We're pretty sure the foam on the inside of shin guards was specifically designed to smell as rank as possible. Maybe it's to keep the opposing team from kicking your shins? Maybe. Stick a Zorpad in each shin guard and keep that laundry room smelling fresh. Unless you have a cat. BUT OH WAIT.

5. Litter Boxes

This one's not for you, it's for Mittens. The cat. It's not her fault she has to do the do in the dark in an upscale sandbox. Throw her some catnip and tuck some Zorpads on the roof of her litter box.

6. Gym Bags

How many days at the gym have been missed because someone opened their gym bag and just couldn't deal with the stench? Probably a million, just a conservative guess.

7. Refrigerators

UGH your roommate left her lo mein in the fridge AGAIN. When you stick Zorpads inside your fridge you can just be disgusted with your roommate, not the smell of her leftover food.

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